Attachment vs Growth
The word attachment is getting stranger these days.earlier a girl used to leave her parents and home and get married.from one home to another home.after all what is a home? The definition of home itself is changing.now a days we move a lot due to job opportunities.and everywhere we go we try to create a home.but in order to grab those opportunities and move we have to be detached.if we attach ourselves to people and things we will never be able to move ahead in life.there are so many young girls and boys in india who are detaching themselves and moving for studies abroad. So it’s not only for marriage they are moving but way prior to that.my dream always was to travel the world. So I used to always wonder if I move abroad I will miss my parents and friends so much that I will not be able to stay. How will I survive?
But surprisingly after coming abroad I’m not missing anyone.its very surprising for me.yes there are wonderful memories which passes everyday from my eyes but memories which makes me happy not sad.the biggest relief I feel is that nobody is judging you here.nobody is bothered whether you have a kid or not . nobody invades your privacy.you are free to do whatever you want. There is a kind of peace, a sense of security you feel here.
I have been born and brought up in india and have stayed in india for 30 years of my life.but what is it that we are drawn abroad? Why our engineers and skilled people leave their land and come work for other countries? What is it that india is not giving them which they get outside.I think we all know the answers.
There is government support,financial security, no corruption, etc etc.
But I think there are other reasons besides that. There are several women here,some were home makers in india and some were working. The homemakers and working women both categories of women are much more happy and relaxed here than they were in india.i was surprised to see this but when I spoke with them I realised it’s true.and I think one of the reasons is culture difference and the way women are differentiated in india than men
In india there are separate duties for husband and separate for wife so we tend to take others for granted.but here if a husband wants a glass of water he needs to take it himself.just because wife is a homemaker it doesn’t make her a non paid servant at home.everyone needs to help themselves and do your own work.this creates value and respect for each other which is missing to a great extent in india.
So attachment meaning is changing and people are adapting to that.as great leaders have said detachment makes us grow.in india we are taught from childhood that we need to take care of our parents and staying with them means respecting them.so if we leave them, it means we do not love them.what kind of love this is? Why so many set parameters and judgments even for love?
So if we love our parents we should not follow our dreams.if we love our parents we should not voice our opinions.if we love our parents we cannot choose our life partner. The list goes on and on.They say expectation is the Base of sorrow and living example is india.I feel if we reduce our expectations and allow our minds to broaden and open we will have more artists, dancers, singers, architects, engineers, etc living in india rather in abroad.
So I feel detachment is important.it allows us to explore new opportunities and makes us face our fears and might actually reveal our true potential to us.
As i read, your thinking about it, is good. I got very inspiring from your thinking.